hmmm...

awwwww ...Donghae so cute...awww...i can't....*nosebleed* ...and Leeteuk seemed embarrassed because near Sora,she don't know exactly what is super junior, suju is family, and Leeteuk is omma, so...Donghae jealous and naughty kid xD ...


i love suju  the most in whole world, they so precious for me, forever~...i swear~ yeah... i like many of group and guys,but.. they are more than just idols or guys about whom i gone crazy haha~ they are my family, if they really think that ELFs part of their life and family, thank guys, i believe you, i love you~


*********
what about me...ehh....i feel so sorry....seemed like i lost my oppa...he now in Philippines...and just kept saying that he is ok and no more ...i asked him why he don't want talk with me, tell me something but he ignored it and saying that he love me and missed me because i am for him as sister...but so why  he is like that!!!?? i feel so upset ...i can't understand he really just is of  such closed person or i am bothered him so much!...or...he think...that i friend with him just because he is korean...aaaaaa TT__TT first it was true... but now it is not so!
once, he said me that i am still very young...even if i am 18, i am very childish and when i will  elder i understand why  even have eFriend not so easy, and why he don't want to spell out much about himself ...but he not said me even a little!! it so unfair oppa!






L.O.V.E [HaeMin] chapter 0 (short )

yeah, maybe i will write it too~ ;D  i have chapters and for " latent ...." and "heartquake.angela!heartquake " and  "L.O.V.E" and new maybe one-shot "Believe" but i don't know...what?...i don't know what ><////

TITLE: L.O.V.E

Autor: takitaki_usagi (aka miniKyu~)

PAIRING:Haemin(Sungmin/Donghae)

Genre: AU!, Romance,drama(i don’t know what else)

Rating: ….

i realy sorry for poooor English~ T__T

****************

  Life other person’s in way as you see, it does not always  display the reality  .
Yes, everyone in my school think that I am lucky, perhaps the world would envy me, I can only roll my eyes at their whispers and glances at  me, they just do not fall in my feet, it is so disgusting. Father repeats to me, “you that’s all I have”, I wonder if when he says I am= “that” and slaps me on a shoulder, he adds to me in the mind his money, imagine me as a bag in which he is going to shove all his goodness and  then put in the safe.hell I am in latter class  of high school, and I do not want to leave the school’s threshold, because if the school system  can not bend to fit for his interests  ,  then poke me in some sort of institute what he want  not problem, and who asks what want I ?he want that i will able to work in his company,Why it is bad?my father needs people who will keep his mouth shut, and he apparently believes that such a brainless pawn can ideally be just me, or rather his son, but I am his son..oh you can’t understand what i am about…but even what the most important, i can’t work in office, because  I  don’t love people, I indisputable can to command them, but I’d rather kill man for  spoiled documents than just fire  worker as my father, it is interesting because my father is not worried about people … it are just pawns who work with him, but he is more humane than I in this case.

Friends? There are people who at this point pretty confident called my name , of course it  was prescribed their daddies for them, but they seem so happy in his position, spoiled kids in a golden cage, I will not dissemble, I like to have fun, and I do not care who is committed  to me , but I’ve never answered on this question.
Love? ridiculous, what is it?it is… when in the morning mom can drop into my room with a “awwww” when I  with a hangover and can’t even unstick my eyes, she so neatly stack on my desk notes and leaves “my soooooon~, it is money~ have fun. L.O.V.E L= life, O=ofcourse,V=very, E=expensive…. Then I get it from the first class - every day.

Month, just one month- of normal, yet it can be call as a happy life before I get a diploma and lose liberty. I  bitterly  clenched  pencil  in my hand, I thought that i would like to swap lives with anyone … hmmm with ragamuffin…not ragamuffin but   with simple guy.
-hey! - somebody  slapping on the back, I snorted angrily,he is who  very annoying
-yes,Heechul 
-yes? I had not even suggested something- he giggled, the way that i usually hates, haha original answer, as I do not know that to tell you no… this is not real. 
-I do not care

-well- he sat down opposite me and leaned across the table closer to me- so today, at 8, in Leeteuk’s home 
-Of course, unlike some he not skinflint-I also leaned towards him and winked
-pff … who is among us skinflint, if some who have never arranged a party at home? In this case ..is not it you ? - he jabbed me in the cheek but I caught his finger
-I do not care

He knows with me not interesting play,he has not effect on me, nobody can  
-great -he got up and was about to leave-and Sungmin, why do you always  come here in the canteen instead of our restaurant? Do you like simple children’s environment? - oh how long  you are not child? Well …yeah… you long time not child
-I am homophobic- he rolled his eyes at me

-Still, I wanted to say that besides  golden boys ..
-will the golden girls?-I smirked, I knew the secret of these parties, which must be frustrating for the girls who dream of a prince in gold… on a white horse, if they knew that all the princes are- gays, ohohoh, except me.
-very funny,will- usual guys from school, we decided to call our classmates or friends … not all, of course, just cute boys, in your class are they?-he looked at me interested
-ha Heechul, you forgot I am in the male beauty …
-clear-clear-he suddenly hissed- then there will be those whom will invite I am and other
-I don’t care, but what’s the point? cute guys = gays, especially if  invite will YOU, your friends= your ex-boyfriends
- you think i can not have just friend ? and i know exactly that not all cute boys- gays, unfortunately…hmmm but maybe it will experiment
-perverts
- What is confusing you?-he grinned
- Ha ha, i don’t care - it is really so~
-of course-he waved and walked out of the canteen *************************************************************

sorry for Heechul will like that....oh...you don't know yet like what he will == hmm...i love him very much, actually he my ehusband :D but there he will as a whore >< but he will have reason for it O.O for him it - unrequited love TT

yeah, i like impenetrable-cold Sungmin in this (and everywhere ><)story-line, because he is not really pink rabbit, he is very manly man,ohohoh :D and my husband number two ><
but bad relationship with family it is what i really did not want do but done  TT

Heartquake-Angela!-Heartquake [chapter 1\?]

Title: Heartquake-Angela!-Heartquake
Pairing:  Haemin\MinHae [Sungmin/Donghae]
Rating: R [Pg13,Pg15,NC-17 in future chapters, i think]
Genre: AU,Drama,Romance
Disclaimer: I don’t own anyone,this is just my imagination
Summary:just a coincidence, two guys who unified the day that they wanted to die ... but this day was the beginning of ... what?
{useless description yet}

watch out: bad english

1.

Heartquake-Angela!-Heartquake



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2012

Heartquake-Angela!-Heartquake

i decided that I will write stories  based on Suju's songs, inspired on them...
  I will try to use the songs in order, but this is an exception, and here i use two songs because the story
and sweet and sorrowful Т__Т
I am not confident that i able maybe i will not  write it...if somebody will have inspiration you can take it for yourself and write continuous, i will welcome, i will pray for it happen ;D

watch out!: baaaaaad english T______T have not beta

Title
: Heartquake-Angela!-Heartquake
Pairing:  Haemin\MinHae [Sungmin/Donghae]
Rating: R [Pg13,Pg15,NC-17 in future chapters, i think]
Genre: AU,Drama,Romance
Disclaimer: I don’t own anyone,this is just my imagination
Summary:just a coincidence, two guys who unified the day that they wanted to die ... but this day was the beginning of ... what?
{useless description yet}



Heartquake-Angela!-Heartquake


previous,just cut from.....i don't know  where it will )
**************************

Collapse )


****************





012

Super Junior won GDA

Super Junior won GDA - Daesang and more

COZ SUJU DESERVED!!!!! COZ SUJU WORKED HARD AND CONTINEOUS!!!!!!
THEY WILL WIN FOR ME ANYWAY,COZ SUJU IS PART OF MY HEART AND I NEVER WILL CAN LIVE WITHOUT THEM//// I AM ELF FOREVER~ SUJU FIGHTING! ELF WITH YOU...don't worry ..not one will can spoil our relationship and broke our love...coz we crazy very very true and definitive ELFs

and  want to cry~ TTTTT__________________TTTTT so touched they love us too...as much as we love them

flew off to heaven

I Cried so bad when wath this video... video this boy T__T
RIP BEN
when you shouldn`t ...but you did...you smiled
You so gorgeous...forever~


and his fav rapper, with song... calm and at the same time fantastic song ...as you are flying off to heaven...

Latent muddle(chapter 1/?)



Title:   Latent muddle(1)
Pairing(s):Heehae(it will not clear),Kyuhae(one side),Leeteuk\Sora, Sungmin\? (one side), Siwon\? (will not occur),brokenfriendhip!Leeteuk\Siwon
Genre: Romance,Drama,Friendship!,Angst
Rating: start with Friendship and G,GP,P-13,P-15 and maybe NC-17 ;)
Summary:Leeteuk did not notice how he separated his life as two different worlds,soon it becomes difficult to choose, but one of these worlds do not belong to him, muddle or egotism?. Heechul merged with his image. Donghae could not understand what feelings feel to him.
Kyuhyun likes(or love?)  Donghae and  willing to neglect own feelings, satisfied with what he has, or pretends ?
Sungmin blames everyone and seeing the mistakes of others, but not his own. afraid to show his weakness, or he does not have it?What will happen when he accuses Kyuhyun and Kyuhyun find a reason to accuse him ?
Warnings: 1) It does not contain MYSTICS
it is closer to psychology, all
what Leeteuk sees is his (my) fantasy and delusion during sleep (it marked in turquoise)
2)contains  Donghae`s thought (they are marked in blue) but I write from third person
3)character dies
Note: is the first time I posted my writing,and I worry if it's awful.
I'm sorry English is not my native language, and not even a second, I know him only at that level, so there will probably be a lot of mistakes, sorry
I ELF FOREVER





chapter 1
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
suju`s dorm, kitchen.
-can I ask you?
-what? - the guy is not particularly interested, he just continuing  eat
- I want to know since when, you decided that it's only your life?
-What? - the leader in disbelief staring at him - what do you mean .. Sungmin?
-why look at me as if I said something incredible, you know how to get out of every crap
The leader suddenly frowned at the younger, and begin to eat again, despite the smirk that coming from Sungmin
-you could pretend better, I'm disappointed in you
-I do not kno...
-you know-sungmin has done last sip from his glass of wine and rosing to leave the table.
leader smiling awkwardly but sungmin just laugh at him drunk, and standing at the door, leaning against the door`s jamb on the second and stopped laughing.
-Please, wake up, open your eyes and see that we`re still under your wing
Sungmin laugh again and turned the corner in his room. Leeteuk was a moment with a blank face looking at the place where Sungmin stood, shaking his head and then push the plate away.
-wake up? wings? pff drunken gibberish ... - He sigh heavily as he thought that it was not pleasant to hear even if it was drunken delirium, but now 2 am(night) and he can not  think about it, he just sigh again and go to sleep.
**********
-why here so light? - Leader shiver feeling a sunlight hits him in eyes. He get up rubbing his eyes and  slowly pulled his hand to the place where it usually is a night table and alarm clock. Blindly groping in the air to find it, he snort with irritation
-what the hell? - Still does not wake up he leans back on the bed
-I want nothing - he bury his nose in a pillow, probably took 15 seconds as he has begin to sniff the pillow and sigh with pleasure. The pillow smelled so refreshingly frosty and mint.
Without opening his eyes, he pull a blanket over himself, it is also cold and minty .. about 10 seconds and
-WHERE I?-looking at him he was wearing a white shirt and white as snow pants and exactly in front of him  emerged the mirror in which he sees himself lying dormant, the leader literally fly off the bed, tangling in  sheets, he fell on  back pulling on all the pillows and blankets. cursing all, he get out of .... rags? leader blinks in shock, he found himself on the field in the middle of dirty rags.leeteuk is puffing like a sudden fear gripped him.
Frantically crawls away from rags, he backing away, not looking at the road, he is soon facing with something hard, slowly turning around he saw a huge tree, thick and sharp as a thorn-branch sticking out in front of him.He looked at the fear of his body, if this thread not made a hole in him, but to the great surprise for him ... he is alive.He raise his head and wanted to touch the branch, thinking maybe it just seems like a sharp thorn, but ... there is no tree ...Only a wall, stone wall covered with moss.
- That ... that .... that ... is
-your World
The leader turns quickly to the voice, not even having time to get scared that might be in front of him after all these tricks. but there is nobody, just a huge shadow is coming to him. He closed his eyes in fear and could not move, there is nowhere to run, he knew that,in the back only wall.
-why do not you running?or do you want to save them? look, turn around and look! that world and this world, they are both yours, but what will you choose? Look, she's there, as you want.
he is not believe his eyes he listens to the voice from the shadows and obediently, barely controlling his numb body turns back, where was  the wall.. now in front of him is again a field full of white flowers,not far away on a large stone by the sea, sit a girl in a white dress,he can  hear as she sing a quiet melody, and inhale air from the water.
He nearly lost time when he looked at her, he smiled seeing how she smiles at the wind and on the water spray that gently beat into her face.
But a loud voice, Like a bank of ink flooded the beautiful picture, he angrily turns to him to grasp the shadow and ...

"Wake up!" - leader with full force press against the body, he clenching his eyes in preparation for a powerful attack but  instead hear the sound of shattered crockery and whine
- Hurt .. hell ... it hurts, it hurts! you are crazy sleeper! my foot ... ... my hand.. my head!-leeteuk  slowly opens  eyes, looking around, it really is HIS bed, HIS room, HIS sheet, pillows, no smell of mint and cold, HIS pajamas and and that voice .... he also suspiciously slowly bent down and saw that on a carpet on HIS carpet, squirming HIS Donghae
-Donghae  ...Donghae MY? -  leader shut his mouth with hand in happiness and again raise his hands almost slapping.
- No, I'm a stranger! you queer! Look what you've done? you do not think that should at least apologize to me? - Donghae false angry, raised a spoonful of porridge from shattered plate, and threw it straight in the leader`s face.
-hey! - they both laugh
-in any case you should say "thank you Ryowook", he prepared it JUST for you before leaving at 5 am in...
leader still smiling happily, not really listening  what he says, he still could not understand what happened, just knowing that it was a dream, but a strange, not normal, scary, at the same time so interesting .... it's the right word ? he is not know now
he asked, is not realized
- Why? - He asked himself about the dream but Donghae continue to talk with him
-why just for you? Today, you have the great day, so great that I'm almost ready to forgive you this blow my precious head on a hard-hard floor ! and even Kyuhyun will not make fun of you for a whole week! we are the best dongsaengs ? right hyung?
Leader has kept his eyes on him, but  said nothing, so Donghae suspiciously leans toward him, waving  hand in front of his face, but he just wrinkled his nose
-what she said - of whom she spoke?
-hmmmm...she?Who is she? -Donghae worry, he putting hand on Leeteuk`s forehead
-oh .. you have a fever ... lie ... lie down, I'm going to  call an ambulance and i get  a cold towel for you!-Donghae tried to put him in bed but he suddenly clutching hands on his wrist
-no, no, I'm  good
-no, you're all on fire!
-Donghae ..
-I heard you crying and moaning at night, you had a nightmare?
leader looked anxiously at the boy as if HE has a problem.
-no!
-In any case, you have a fever, I will not let you go.
-seems to me that you said today a great day ... what day is it? -  Leeteuk is not paying attention to Donghae and just ignoring his words.
-what .... are not hear? you need the help of the doctor-Donghae wanted to pull his hand from a solid grasp of  leader but he holds more firmly
-tell me what day it is!?what  i must choose?
- Do not scare me! What's this?- He wanted to draw his attention to their hands- it hurts!
-what day ???!! hell can you tell me why it is great!?- leader shook a guy in a panic - tell me!
Donghae with afraid  look at him, nervously swallowing he just feel hot fingers around his wrists, which are already stiff
-Do not you remember? -from pausa Donghae asked calmly
-just tell Donghae-ah!
-You have a headache? Please calm down and let me call the doctor- Donghae tried to speak convincingly
-what are you stupid?? or what? !?
-what is  here?! why are you yelling in 6 o`clock ! - Heechul burst into the room and stare in perplexity at the guys
-WHAT IS HELL?!
-Please call an ambulance!he have a fever!-Donghae almost crying
-what .. - Yesung looking into the room
-call an ambulance, quick!-Heechul order him and run to Donghae
-Leeteuk, calm down, you hear me? -Heechul slowly unclenched his hardly-stony hands of Donghae, so Donghae groaned with pain.Leeteuk starting pant and fell on the bed
hell-....- Heechul mind cursing -he faints
 He helped Donghae get up and ran his fingers on his wrists
-badly pain?
-mm ... no ... no ... not really - Donghae cheated, but smile at  older
-he lost mind
-do not blame him, yesterday he came under rain and evidently ill
Heechul frowns -you always justifies all?
Donghae smiled confused-is it bad?
-very - Heechul said rough
Donghae lower his eyes
-once you need of forgiveness, you will wish  have at least one person on your side ... so do you think it will never happen?-Donghae sit down beside the bed with leader and looking at him tenderly
Heechul just mocking
*I'll still be on your side, I'm sorry that I can not show it every time, because you're often talking about such nonsense* Donghae chuckled in  mind
- the high word of a little boy, want to touch someone else's soul? let's not breathe originality,There is only one...
-only one space star, who do not care about feelings the mass of manikins what go under him- other guy appears in room
-Wow ... Sungmin .. do you understand? but did not think that you are such opinion of himself .. haha- Heechul almost purred
-read on your fan page, look there are still people with brains who are trying to open the eyes of the blind idiot who does not understand what worship
-you are not satisfied with your place? role of pink fool you chose himself - Donghae all this time silent and looked at them with open mouth only when Sungmin literally jumped up and grabbed Heechul by a collar , Donghae is not expect from himself shouted at them
*the biggest pain for man, to see how your most love people slowly destroy your world, not noticing it, simply because they don`t know that they are your world,world in which you do not have any rights never*
-If you want to know both of you morons! Leeteuk needs help and you then arranged disassembly, get out of here and beat each other's face against asphalt! - Both guys in the surprise turns to Donghae who now stand in scattering and then sit down again, covering his head with hands
-he has become worse? - Sungmin removed his hands from Heechul and throwing disgruntled look at him,come to bed with Leeteuk
- I do not know ...- Sungmin sat next to Donghae
-all will be  well - said Sungmin,Heechul stood aloof from them, but when Donghae looked up at him, he did not dare to upset him and argue with Sungmin, so, too, nodded slightly.
The room went all  guys who will in the dorm, ( not only Kyu and Ryowook)
The doctor will be any minute now - happily declared Yesung
-he was always so attentive as he could got sick in such day
-he can`t even remember what day today
all the guys frustrated sighed,
-oh, seems we must to call the producer- sadly said Donghae
-he will be sooooo delighted with this news!haha ..you want scolding? you confident?...oh my nervy system...ok, really it just Leeteuk`s headache
- What? what do you suggest that he in no matter what was up and gone? - Sungmin with irritation barked at Heechul
-oh, never mind, why you react at me with so much excite , I did not say anything except ..- Heechul was interrupted by Shindong, who scowled at him
-except that you will always find a reason for gloating-Heechul just for a moment pretended that thought, but then slowly nodded looking at Shindong, seeing as he facilitated sigh, he could not help but cracked with laughter
-hyung-you-idiot-Shindong smiled in disappointment
Soon,In the room again entered Yesung and Siwon, but this time with a doctor
-walk here, please - Siwon with all politeness, invited  doctor in the room.Doctor quickly reached alleged patient
-you said he has fever?-Sungmin gave him his place and stand beside him. The doctor put his hand to his forehead and looked surprised at the guys
-yes .. yes ... he had delirium and then he fainted-Donghae stuttering
-you give him some pills?
all looked at each other and verified that no one gave him  pills
-what .. what's wrong? - Siwon first asked anxiously while the doctor checks the pulse of  leader
-what's wrong? - Sungmin  asked, too, anxiously
-nothing .... he's just sleep- doctor discontentedly wrinkle his lips, and slowly rising toward the exit
-it's probably overfatigue, so just let the person sleep-doctor came out, all surprised again looked at each other, Siwon shrugged his shoulders and ran to conduct the doctor
-haha, wow, saw his face? he was not satisfied that the person not sick-Heechul broke the silence
-do you think people with fatigue, are not sick? - Sungmin again in irritated sniffed at him
- Wow you have such a great mood today! I would not want to upset you but be respectful .. and shut up - he smiled and left the room
-I think not need to go too far, - shindong also going to leave the room and giving him a urging look
-and I think that we should listen doctor`s advice,just give him a rest, in the evening he will be full of energy
-then we will not call a manager or producer?-Donghae asked curiously
-yes, for what? they do not help, just start cursing ahead of time,he will be better in the evening
*this time, when you start to wonder people who live with you for more time
Shindong hyung, truly responsible and rational person, one more reason why I'm proud of him*

We nodded in agreement.Shindong went out and Donghae  hung in his mind for a minute .. then found that Sungmin is still sitting on the seat next to leader.
he walked over, sat down beside him and cleared his throat not decisively srart speaking
-hyung, you ...can please  explain to me... you have some reason why you quarrel with Heechul-hyung ?
Sungmin looked up sharply on the question  and stared at the younger.Donghae felt uncomfortable and avoiding his gaze
-Why? -sungmin said surprised
-what? -Donghae also surprised by the question
-you live in your own fantasy world, where all love each other
-No ... I ...
-Donghae ... do not think about it, what's the difference what kind of relationship I have with him,that mean he deserved it,are not you think so? you must not care about it-Sungmin smiled at Donghae who awkwardly shifted in place
-hyung, but for me it is important to ... Yes, I understand - seeing that Sungmin does not want to talk about it, he smiled weakly.
Sungmin hugged his shoulders, then ran his hand through Donghae`s hair gently
-Do not worry, nobody hurt you, I promise
*but you do* is what he thought in mind
-yes hyung, I believe you- * I believe you and what why  my world  slowly destroying*
-well-sungmin removed his hands from him and stand up- Come on, I'm surprised that he is not wake up because of our chatter
-Yeah..
they left the room. Sungmin goes straight to his room when he noticed that Heechul sitting on the couch in the living room
heechul rolled his eyes on this action. Donghae sat next to him, he did not know whether to ask him anything about the conflict, but decided to remain silent.
-will watch cartoons with me?-Donghae is not expect, and looks at him in confusion,just because now he thought about serious things.
Heechul laughed and pushed him lightly on the forearm
- That what we never did  before?-Heechul grinned - I do not propose to make love, just to watch cartoons
Donghae blushed and smiled nervously, avoiding his eyes
- Yes, of course I will
Heechul still with interest stared at a younger face, stating that he really blushed for his words
-Okay, baby, what cartoon?
-if there is new ... or
-just-not-Nemo- Heechul deceptively-strictly warned
-okay, hyung
-what? why are you so tight? - Heechul raised his eyebrows at him
-what?-Donghae blinked not understandingly, and blushed again when met Heechul`s eyes
-I mean ... haha ... oh ... why you're so pretty? - It seemed funny to him and he again misleadingly portrayed tenderness- be with me baby
Donghae choked on this words, and quickly seized on  table first got a box with disc, gave it to Heechul.
Heechul took disc, keeping eyes on a guy- i mean sit near with me
Donghae feel himself so silly, but smile
-you are too cute to ignore this,all know it,and you,so it is not something new what i said you-Heechul put a disc, not paying attention on guy who sadly sigh *nothing special, you right, you can only say in same way as other, because i have not nothing special in your eyes *
-Okay, let's watch

************

probably my first experience terrible terrible terrible TTTTTT____TTTTTT011

And you always know who has been naughty or nice!

EVERYBODY(and EVERYTHING :D)
-MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!
I SO HAPPY, AND YOU??????? (but in my country christmas will just after New Year ;)
ANYWAY I FEEL  ATMOSFERA OF CELEBRATIONS! ))) SANTA I LOVE YOU!!

and How sing Kyu~ "And you always know who has been naughty or nice"
(Sound like from maniac...but it simple Kyu~ i understand why it his line haha~ )
 i know that I AM in list of "naughty-babies"  ;) sorry-sorry Santa even i love you,i can`t be good girl ~___~


awwww i always love their costumes, and now, i found it beautiful ( initially , i thought that this black roses  are black cats oO i pabo~ ;) but i hope that in 25 december on performance they will prepare something special or maybe at least will dressing as Santa *__*


*********************
i have all of week  but i done ...nothing....how man may be so lazy! how man may be so lazy when soon will exams!? i hate myself for IT ..i so silly and stupid and i can`t even one time thought with help my brain!!!!! if i have the brain because i start to doubt in  fact his exist !!! ....every time i can just scold on myself but nothing became better =.-
ok maybe so ^oppas will
very frustrated about you^ hahaha~ i really  will try repeat it now...i have else more than 2 week for preparation =_= 
and i really have oppas...just 2 (even if in internet) ...but it s
o cool ! i love them, because they very friendly, and caried about me, one of them especialy for me, he call me  "lovely little sister" ... i prepared gift for him on the New Year but now i not able to send it because of  my ill (


i still  upset,my friend from Japan (now he in Germany)  not answered me and i don`t know his adress so i can`t send postcards for him too (


********************
hell hell hell now i  understand why feel uncomfortable when see Siwon(suju)...it sound as delirium but ...mom`s men(dad of my younger sister)....look like   HE(but very bad version)..it is awful!! i don`t really not like him...but i don`t like him too...i don`t know...early we even watched Harry Potter (5 of 7 ) TOGETHER(JUST I AND HE), and other movies...we had conversations often and so on...but once i noticed that he often ask about me of mother and  me seemed that he too~ much pays attention  for me...it became seems weird for me....and i stop  talking with him..just pouting when he look at me, trying made hints that i don`t want see him here /// but at the some times i want that mother have someone , and don`t want that my sister don`t have father as me, so i trying every time ,when she cursing him , make peace between them ...
so when i see Siwon , who made something of "cool behavior" i have disgusting feelings just because mom`s men enter in my mind...i can`t throw it away from my mind...it is like- bad association 
i know it is my problem....anyway i love Siwon too, not just because he part of Super Junior, no...i like him as personality and nothing(nobody,not he) able to spoil my
attitude :)
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every day i thinking about Heechul ...i so missing of him...i love him...
and else, i don`t tire repeat that i miss of Kibum, Kangin and Hangeng
....
and 13+2=1 FOREVER~
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i writted in poscard for Hangeng that Suju`s ELF- his ELF too~ and forever...it is truth, not is ?
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santa you are the one ^^

oh now i have not planning by myself - holidays //// i caught chickenpox !!!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggr~
it terrible enought...but...oh so bad...but i happy because soon will  tests of my  institute ....
but it so nasty and i scratch  all my body~ @__@
sooooooon happy new year! damn i like and wait Santa so much as three-old-baby *__* and i all day listen @SANTA YOU ARE THE ONE@ mythemostlovelyboysinthewholefuckingworld SUJU `s ^^

i want to do something...but i don`t know actually what i want =/= maybe...maybe i will draw poster with hyungs ... or maybe only with my husband Heecul....or postcards ....or ....errr i want to create something  handmade /////
BUT DUMBASS I MUST GET READY FOR TESTS TTT_______TTT God give me strength!!!


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i like Heehae,Kyuhae,Haemin,Sihae,Teukhae...buuuuut wHy is always HAE!!!!????? i going crazy ...but why i don`t actually love usual pairings TT_______TT my live just full trouble of it =.=

HAE WHY I SO ADDICTED OF YOU!?
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i will prepare some gift for my chinese husband (Exactly my future teacher for chinese **) ahaha i image his face ...it maybe seem weird for him...oh 100% he will staring at me as i man winthout brain or alien or ...awwww maybe he will turn on pink and hug me ** haha it is me who will pink and run away as dumbass...no matter...any way it awkward ...but i just kidding ) not seriously..
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ah~



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